the Cottage

She is mine and she is everything I want in a sanctuary.

Large enough to dance in the kitchen.


Small enough to foster simplicity.

because we're awesome like this

She worships the ground I walk on...
...or the couch I'm sitting on...
...or the bed I'm laying in...

The day after our all-nighter, she grounded me to the couch by falling asleep in my lap.

She knew I wouldn't wake her up by moving to flit about the house in what's been called "frantic energy" so she camped out there for as long as I could possibly ignore the laundry.



She's always been an independent sleeper until recently when she's decided that laying as close to me as possible while we both fall asleep is ideal. At some point in the night, she moves to the floor next to me.



And then in the morning, after my alarm goes off for the first time, she climbs back in and makes sure I'm awake.



I love her.

cannot forget these moments

My best friend has a baby and I took him to a winery, because that's what best friends do.



The complete story, if you must know, is I was watching him in an unfamiliar town where I did not know where parks were located. Since we wanted to play, I needed grass so it was either the winery or a cemetery. And as I suspected, there was lots of ground for him to play on at the winery, and even corn hole boards and a black lab.

Perfection.

Much like my friendship with his mother.

We laugh, we cry, we road trip, we sleep in the king-size bed, we drink, we read, we watch TV. She reminds me to take my glasses off before I fall asleep and gives me gifts, like a journal that says "unload" on the front, because she knows I often need to, or a book of short stories with the title, "Cowboys are my Weakness." She inspires me, strengthens me, she's got my back.

I wish we were neighbors.

some sentences strung together

It's late, early, whatever we call it at this hour. My dog's laying on the couch across from me wondering why we're still awake. Yes, she's on the couch...looking at me and dozing off.

Usually at this hour I watch re-runs of previously aired college football games, but tonight I'm watching DVR'd Tosh.0.

When I'm stressed, I pace a lot. I did a lot of pacing tonight. And laundry. Laundry is good therapy, and so is a hot shower.

I made my first Craigslist purchase Friday and on my way to the house in a shady-ish neighborhood, I started to worry that I wouldn't survive it. I did.

This morning Skye and I enjoyed the river with a tennis ball that sank. She swam in the deep end looking for it until I called her back, worried that she'd tire and drown. I over-dramatize certain situations, but I had flashes of me having to jump in and save her. And then us both drowning.

I'm writing a wellness column once a month for our wellness page. This week was my week and I wrote it about how important sleep is, and how we have a sleep debt that can be repaid over time. I'd post the link to it, but it's not on our website.

Website is a word that I wonder if it's one or two words. I think it's one.

I'm going to try and sleep now.

Good night, world.

these moments especially

Some people are destined to change your life.

Josey Ann changed mine over and over again.

I can’t remember the first time I met her – my memory tells we were just always a team. Me, her nanny; her, my sidekick.

I’ve written about her many times here, and the last time I saw her was in February 2010.

I was worried driving over to her last Thursday. Worried that she’d have forgotten about me, worried that she’d not like me, worried that she’d be mad, or afraid, or shy.

But when I walked in her grandparent’s house, she jumped into my arms and kept yelling, “Holly, I’ve missed you so much!” It was as if I’d left to run an errand and returned.

That’s notable for us.

I taught her that people return – that the door might close behind me, but that shortly, it would reopen and I would appear. Even if it was 18 months later.

We spent the entire evening together in what was a highlight of my trip. Her mother and I talked and I got to see her, the reinvented person she is now. I was ecstatic to find out she got the help she needed and that her eyes were alive.

these moments

Friends who don't usually stay up late, waited up for me last Saturday night and met me in their driveway when I rolled in at nearly midnight.

My moments with them are strangely normal. We don't do anything fancy. We play cards when the kids go to bed, we watch TV, we move around in the kitchen at the same time, I tag along during chores and errands, and sit in the nursery with them during church.

Their kids know me. One remembers me, one had no reason to, but repeated my name throughout the house and wanted me to "hold you" every chance he got.



Our friendship has spanned a few years now and many miles. They've stayed rooted in one town; I've floated around in a few states and they've patiently kept up with me. I was worried, you know, the first time I left. Some friends let you fade.

They did not.

Our greatest ally is technology. Kristin and I email almost every day, strings of conversation that encompasses our respective drama, mundane daily activities, gossip and stories. We rarely talk on the phone, but text often. And, of course, utilize Gchat and Facebook.

On Monday evening, I said I was going to take a walk in the park across their house. My legs were still stiff from my 14-hour drive and I needed to move around.

Kristin said she would go with me and before long, Greg and the kids had their shoes on and we all went.

It's a good example of our friendship. Simple...rich...small moments that beg to be remembered and conversations that can't be forgotten.

where have I been?

I'm glad you asked.

I've been a lot of good places in more ways than one.

I've been here and there and over there.

I've been to my favorite kitchen table, and my favorite farmhouse.

I've been kissed by dogs who aren't mine.

I've talked and laughed and contemplated and thought.

I've been high and low, relaxed and stressed.

I've been in pain and in revelation.

I've lived in the moment, which brings me to my point....

...I have many wonderful moments to share with you, to document for myself here, so I'll do that this week before they escape me.

Together, we will "enjoy these moments for these moments were my life."