some words strung together

Wind and rain is slapping against the front of the Cottage and incidentally the windows my desk sits in front of. There's something comforting about a Texas thunderstorm.

My 80-pound German shepherd doesn't agree with me. She's currently in her hiding spot next to the toilet in the bathroom. And to think she's my personal protection dog! I guess we all have our fears.

My niece is asleep in the bedroom next to me. I checked on her a moment ago and found her asleep on the carpet. Apparently she rolled.

I hired a babysitter the past two days for the first time in my life. It's not surprising given that I'm not a mother, but traditionally I've been the one on the babysitter/nanny end. The moment of departure was awkward. What's a good thing to say when you leave a babysitter with your precious child/niece? I'd already given her the run down (twice, I'm sure, in my semi-frazzled state), I'd kissed Evalyn, told her goodbye and then....

Thirty minutes later I wanted to check and see if everything was going OK, but I managed to hold off for 50 minutes. I was glad to hear they were getting along splendidly and watching Mary Poppins.

You can't really make scrambled eggs in a Crock pot.

I found a flea on Skye two days ago and went ape shit on the Cottage. I lose my mind over fleas. Hopefully I've taken care of these suckers.

I really like March Madness and think college football should be structured in the same way. I especially like this year's tournament because my Murray State Racers are in it to win it.

My brother is a sailor!!

The past two days at work were especially stressful. It's always stressful, but this was compounded. We made it, though.

Speaking of work, I have to go back there tomorrow. I might need to go to bed now.

he's a sailor!

On the spectrum of pride, mine is off the charts.



It's hard to believe we said goodbye two months ago and now here we are - graduation day!

As every big sister should, I cried when I watched the graduation videos this morning that one of my sisters was sending to my cell phone. And then, two hours later, I got a text message:

"Hey! It's Daniel!!"

And I screamed via text and replied:
"I wish I was there to touch your face!"

I've missed that kid a lot and can't wait to see where his journey takes him.

Eeeeeeeeekkkkkkk....I'm so happy for him!

thankful

I'm thankful for my mom who calls to talk to me about social media.
I'm thankful she knows I'm multi-tasking while we're talking.

I'm thankful for my friend who calls at 9:20 a.m. to ask for a coffee date.
I'm thankful for when he offers to bring it to me later in the afternoon.
I'm thankful for when he arrives at just the right moment and gives me the coffee.
I'm thankful that he waits another 7 minutes in the parking lot while I finish a meeting.
I'm thankful he comes in and sits by my desk and waits another 15 minutes for me to finish editing two stories. I'm thankful he reads the day's paper while he waits.
I'm thankful he sits with me in the breakroom for 15 minutes and visits before I have to go.

I'm thankful for my friend who instant messages me and another friend who Facebook messages.

I'm thankful my sister texts me to remind me I didn't reply to her other text.

I'm thankful for my dogs who are glad to see me always.

I'm thankful for the Cottage who doesn't seem to mind that her floors haven't been swept or her dishes washed all week.

I'm thankful for the janitor lady who says "You look pretty tonight" as I'm leaving after a long day.

I'm thankful for the sunshine that hit my face this morning when I left the Cottage, and the same sunshine that kissed me when I stole away outside to breath fresh air for five minutes this afternoon.

I'm thankful for my friend who said it's OK to cry tonight, even though that'll put me at two days of crying for the week. She said that's OK, too.

I'm thankful for eating healthy.

I'm thankful for the efficiency of the people I interact with every day.

I'm thankful for the one guy who flirts just a little, enough to make me think that maybe I've got it goin' on despite long hours and too much caffiene sometimes.

I'm thankful for the people who tease me about being a 90-year-old grandma, and for the ones who engage in conversation about sock buns.

I'm thankful for my family who hasn't heard much from me this week, and for my brother who's learning how to be a seamen.

I'm thankful for my bed.

Goodbye and Hello

I don’t like goodbyes because I don’t like change.

I know. It feels like a contradiction coming from someone who thrives on adventure and taking risks. Consider it a flexible contradiction.

You see, I do love adventure and I take as many opportunities to fulfill it as possible. I spontaneously slept in a deer blind Saturday night in below-freezing temperatures and then hunted Sunday morning. (And by “hunted,” I mean “slept-sitting-up-in-a-chair-waiting-for-deer.)

But I don’t like change.

But life likes to change.

And it’s the change that feeds the adventure so it’s a universe-balancing act.

I get it.

But.

When I hugged my brother good-bye, I didn’t think about it being the last time I’d hug him for a few months. I pretended that I was heading back to my house and he was staying at his and I’d “see him later.”

I did hug him tighter and longer. And mid-hug he cracked a joke that threw me into a fit of laughter-tears and hysteria. We did walk to the door together and before we parted, I hugged him again. Kissed him on the cheek.

We’ve known since October that this was his day, but in sneaky little ways, time evaporated and it was here before I knew what hit me. Last week, sadness was edging out any other emotion I was feeling about his departure, and true-to-my-nature I was laying in bed thinking about it.

In the midst of thinking about all the things he’s not going to be here for and the void his absence will leave at the dinner table, the baseball field, the afternoons on the couch watching football, the dance hall, the Cottage, our hearts – a new thought took dominance over all the other ones.

This is his time.

Duh, right?

But it really is.

I’ve cried since he left. I wasn’t able to be one of the ones dropping him off, but the pictures from the scene made me cry. And I cried when I heard about other people crying and when I read Facebook statuses and notes on his wall. And when I wanted to play 4-handed Pinochile this afternoon and thought, “I’ll invite Emily, Katie and Daniel…” and then remembered that I can’t.

I’m proud of this kid and I’m proud of the way we love him and the people who are missing him. I’m proud he’s serving our country and pursuing his dreams. I’m proud to be his sister.