Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I used to be the noble kind of person who would tough through a headache, fight insomnia and refuse tylenol for a cold. I thought I was helping by keeping my body rid of such impurities.

Now I'm laying here, waiting for my pain meds to kick in, wondering how it's possible to go from no pain to twisting around in bed trying to find a comfortable position and when none can be found, actually thinking that it might be worth it to just cut my legs off.

Theyve been hurting me all day, anyway.

I'm not that brave anymore. I know that I better cut the pain off at the pass before it gets the better of me and renders me sleepless and nearly unable to move in the morning.

It's hard to explain to people sometimes - this migrating joint, muscle and bone pain. Some days, it's like menstrual cramps all day. Other days, I feel like I've ran a mile and climbed 84,000 flights of stairs. Sometimes it's a numbness in two fingers, other times it's a shooting pain in my left big toe. Most always, it's a dull, rolling, wave upon wave tide of hurting that most always is effecting my hips, knees, ankles, elbows, shoulders and my back. Last night I wished for a stretching machine, my back felt so tight and constrained.

I've been thinking lately - how long can one person go with dealing with constant pain before they just can't take it anymore? I don't know.

I'm gaining some relief tonight and I'm thankful. I need sleep to come quickly.

Knees, I'm not listening to you. Shhhhhh.......

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