Sunday, July 7, 2013

She is clothed with strength and dignity....

I sat in a chair parked by her bed.
She asked me about the dogs, what my plans were for the weekend, what I did that day.
I didn't ask about hers.
There are certain things you shouldn't say in a hospital room.
{ex. "How was your day?" Really great. That's actually why I'm here.}
She tells me when she's ready.
She recounts the events of the last three days.

Some of it I already know.
I knew there was a seizure and a brain tumor.
The details were few at first. I was speechless - my coping mechanism kicking in. I didn't cry. I can't effectively freak out until I have all the details. I was quiet, dazed. I texted a few close friends. I went to sleep. My soul was crying out to God.

I hiked the next day and my thoughts were swirling around my beautiful friend, and I was thinking: it's not fair. It's not fair that it's her. Her! I can think of many people better suited for a seizure and a brain tumor. Not her.

But then that damn whisper on the wind that I hear exactly when I need to.
This time it said:

Why not her?
You see, wherever she is, she brings Jesus. So why not a hospital room? A surgical unit? A hospital chapel?  A rehabilitation center? Her circle of influence expands daily as news of her diagnosis has spread from person to person, church to church, community to community, country to country. People who don't even know her are having their lives radicalized by her spirit.

And I thought she was a rock star before this shitstorm.

I told her that when I was told the news, the first thing on my heart was the song "From the inside out" by Hillsong.
"Let's play it," I said, and she found it on her phone. (she's the queen of worship music)
She laid back in her bed, flowers everywhere, a stuffed animal next to her, her own pillows tucked around her and a black and white zebra blanket spread over her. Her phone rested on her stomach and the music played while she closed her eyes. I folded my hands, but then reached for hers. Our voices whispered the words of the song.

There are places in time when the spirituality of a moment transcends location, facts, words....when the presence of Jesus is so palpable it could be interpreted as a fragrance, a peace, a sense of wonder, calm, stillness.

She brought him, I welcomed him, and while the music played and the room was filled with just her, me and God, we gripped each other's hands.
And we cried.


R.B. Morgan said...

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!

R.B.Morgan said...

Beautiful, Beautiful!

Frank Minnifield said...

I feel so much for your dear friend. She is in my prayers. This is inspiring and so beautifully written.

Life as I know it said...

Thank you, and thank you for your prayers.