department of familial coordination and relations

Basically, I like the word familial. I don't even know if it's a real word; I just like it.

Today is a prime example of how the department of familial coordination and relations work. I won't go into details. You would get dizzy, vomit and stop reading. To sum it up, I felt like a dispatcher today. The dispatcher of my family, which is a very difficult unit to organize.

It's not for lack of cooperation from anybody, and it's not any one person's fault. It's just bound to happen when you're dealing with a unit of 8+ people and trying to get everyone's schedules melded into one.

I spent all morning stressing out over the way things weren't working out (Kristin can attest to this via the e-mail I sent her about 2 and another friend was the recipient of a random "ahhhhh!!!!!" e-mail).

What should've been the last straw actually wasn't for me. Mom called and said she'd been called in to work about 3 hours later then what we were expecting. After I got off the phone with her, I proceeded to make about 5 other phone calls to notify all necessary parties that the birthday party scheduled for 7 had been bumped back to 9.

*dispatcher!*

I left work as quickly as I could to get home and help clean the house, cook dinner and get the surprise birthday party ready.

On my way home I got a text message from Katie, who was already here, and it made me realize how ready I (think I) am for the unglamorous side of marriage.

Okay, so that's a slight detour from the purpose of this blog BUT let's detour and then come back.

People get married, right? And they have this unrealistic view of how their new life is going to be.
He's going to take out the trash and do the dishes and make love every night and we'll have money and well, we'll just be together, which is really all that matters, right?

I feel like I'm living a non-married married life right now. And it's very realistic. There are these glorious moments where we're all eating dinner together and it's good and it's right and then there are these stressful, stomach -churning moments of financial conversations and strains of pressure.

I feel that strain. I've always felt it to some degree but thought I could rely on other people (a.k.a my stepfather) to take care of my family. Now it's a responsibility I've gladly accepted but man, it's overwhelming sometimes. No, the burden isn't entirely mine - I share it. But true to my nature, I take on more then I should.

So, there are really great times in this new life and I don't regret it or wish I was anywhere else right now.

There are also times I get text messages like the following, which make me realize that life isn't always glorious, relationships have messy moments and sometimes the only thing you can say is, "I'm on my way home."

From Katie:
"Disgusting house - check. screaming child - check. shitting dog - check. Gonna take longer than three hours - CHECK!"
And about 5 minutes later:
"Oh, and toilet full of shit and overflowing ... check! Girl, this night is going so well. See you soon!"

But then the disgusting house, screaming child, shitting dog, overflowing toilet moment passes and suddenly, we're singing happy birthday to Micah, surprising him with a Texas Longhorn themed birthday and letting him find a pile of 8 tickets to tomorrow's game in the bottom of a Longhorn trashcan.

He held the tickets up, flipped through them briefly and then tears started streaming down his face.

You see, going to a Texas Longhorns is a dream of his, something he talks about doing when he's rich.

Today, we're rich, Micah. The (was) disgusting house, screaming child, shitting dog, overflowing toilet aside ... we're rich.

And tomorrow we're going to live it up.