Monday, April 13, 2009


We had a two-day-old calf die the second day I was here at Mom's house. Its mother tucked it under a tree and left. About a day and a half later, the calf starved to death. Most ranchers and even myself call it instinct - the mother leaves the calf to go forage for food and regardless of the outcome, the calf will stay where it's been told to.

Due to an immature first-time mom, this outcome was death.

This story outlines the general lessons I've been learning while at mom's house except I'm clearly not dead and my mom's not a cow.

Do you trust me?

My immediate answer is an offended YES!

Ah, but do I really trust?

No, unfortunately.

You see, I am plan-oriented. And there are certain guidelines to the plan-making processing and execution:

1) the plan has to make sense
2) the plan has to be execut-able in preferrably numerous, small steps
3) I have to know the plan
4) I have to create the plan

I did have a plan created. But now, in the last 2 weeks, I've been reduced to trust. Quite a dilemma, right? Perhaps I should say I've been promoted to trust.

The plan is no longer my plan. I am not in control and I barely know the next step. What could possibly sound like a desperate, horrifying roller-coaster ride, is actually a sweet, if not fun, relationship.

The Lord does know my next step.

And yeah, I do trust.

1 comment:

Mary Zolene said...

I love what you said about having a plan...every day I think, revise, schedule and live for my plan. lessons are hard.