I have written about being single before. But a recent discussion on Facebook has me thinking and writing about it again. One reason is because, well, I am single. The other reason is I want my opinion in the pool of opinions.
One of my friend's husbands recently told me (and I paraphrase), "You are a complete person by yourself; you don't need to wait for someone to make you better or to complete you."
Here I sit. Twenty-six. Single.
That five-letter word doesn't mean "I'll just say that to psych out the love gods so they think I'm happy and then 'poof' here comes Prince Charming."
It means that I'm genuinely, seriously happy.
Looking back, I'm not sure how I arrived at this place of completeness with myself. It started with insecurity issues with my body and then suddenly realizing that my body is, well, my body! Being healthy and going to the gym became about me. Me wanting to extend my life. Me wanting to live healthier. It became less and less about guys finding me more attractive. (this was pre-Lyme Disease when I actually had some semblance of control over my weight)
As that need for men's approval wore away and I replaced it with a pride in myself, I think my journey to completeness took over.
I have some basic thoughts about being single:
1) it is a choice; not a curse. My single lady friends who are on a date-drought would argue but I stand by my statement. :) When I look at my own life, I can say that being single has been a choice. And there are certainly more things I could be doing right now to enhance my man options if I wanted to. But whether or not you believe it's a choice, it is certainly not a curse. Every season in our lives has a purpose and being single definitely has its own unique mission.
2) celebrate life. Your life is still begging to be lived to its fullest whether you're single, married, engaged or casually dating. Live the life you have right now. Make a difference, impact your world, live vigorously.
Yes, I get lonely sometimes. I want the spot next to me in my bed to be filled. I am human, afterall.
But those things don't take away from the fact that my life is rich, my life is full, my life is blessed and I have every day beckoning for an adventure.