Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Living as one

I have written about being single before. But a recent discussion on Facebook has me thinking and writing about it again. One reason is because, well, I am single. The other reason is I want my opinion in the pool of opinions.

One of my friend's husbands recently told me (and I paraphrase), "You are a complete person by yourself; you don't need to wait for someone to make you better or to complete you."

Here I sit. Twenty-six. Single.


That five-letter word doesn't mean "I'll just say that to psych out the love gods so they think I'm happy and then 'poof' here comes Prince Charming."

It means that I'm genuinely, seriously happy.

Looking back, I'm not sure how I arrived at this place of completeness with myself. It started with insecurity issues with my body and then suddenly realizing that my body is, well, my body! Being healthy and going to the gym became about me. Me wanting to extend my life. Me wanting to live healthier. It became less and less about guys finding me more attractive. (this was pre-Lyme Disease when I actually had some semblance of control over my weight)

As that need for men's approval wore away and I replaced it with a pride in myself, I think my journey to completeness took over.

I have some basic thoughts about being single:

1) it is a choice; not a curse. My single lady friends who are on a date-drought would argue but I stand by my statement. :) When I look at my own life, I can say that being single has been a choice. And there are certainly more things I could be doing right now to enhance my man options if I wanted to. But whether or not you believe it's a choice, it is certainly not a curse. Every season in our lives has a purpose and being single definitely has its own unique mission.

2) celebrate life. Your life is still begging to be lived to its fullest whether you're single, married, engaged or casually dating. Live the life you have right now. Make a difference, impact your world, live vigorously.

Yes, I get lonely sometimes. I want the spot next to me in my bed to be filled. I am human, afterall.

But those things don't take away from the fact that my life is rich, my life is full, my life is blessed and I have every day beckoning for an adventure.


Kristin said...

I love you! Thanks for living your life in a way that encourages me to celebrate. Right now. This moment. I hope others take note.

Anonymous said...

I just want you to know that I am so proud of you! Having been so blessed to walk through most of your life with you as a dear friend, I am amazed at the person you are. The challenges, obstacles, hurts and difficulties you have faced have made you an amazing woman of God that I truly respect and desire to honor. Thank you for being YOU!

I just want to say that I know it has been a very difficult journey that you have walked through this illusive disease called Lyme's. I know that the purpose of your Lynme blog is to encourage others who have had to partake of this trying journey and to give them freedom to share the darkness that can accompany any disease. What a gift!

I understand the pain and the battles you face and I admire your great courage and strength in each one. You NEVER complain, you do NOT let this disease steal your ability to constantly press forward and you SOMEHOW always keep a smile even in the long nights and longer days at times.

Sometimes, I must say, I think that you are way too hard on yourself and don't give yourself the grace you so graciously extend to many, many others in most every area of your life. You are not rude, you are steadfast. You are not cranky, you stand for justice and righteousness at every turn. You are not OCD, you are consistant and provide stability on many levels to many people. Just saying....

I remember the months you spent at the gym, completing the "Ultimate Body Challenge" two times in a row with great success. You have always been my child that I would comment on your endless energy and determination in life...and how I LOVED to see life through your eyes because it gave a perspective that most people often miss!

That remains true to this day....but I've watched this disease ravage your body, destroying parts of you that took some of that control out of your hands and yet you still handled it with such grace and courage!

My outdoorsy, rough and tumble girl who was unafraid to face an adventure, scale every mountain and climb to the highest branch of every tree we encountered and who I said over and over and over, "She will never have problems with her weight because she doesn't stop long enough for it to stick!" has been thrust into battles in that area that could have kept a less confidant and self assured person down! How difficult that has had to be for you! Not only as it encroached upon the essence of you, as a young woman it had to be hard with how it affected your outer appearances.....and yet once again, you faced the challenge with grace and overcame!

So, I read this blog about singleness with even greater appreciation because I know the battles you have had to face and how majestically you have conquered all self pity, selfishness and sorrow. You are truly my hero!

I just want you to know that my heart is so full of joy over you and your life so blesses me....I am DAILY amazed at the amazing person that you are! Wow, I am so privileged to be your mother and to call you my friend!

The Logarithmic Spiral said...

If this were a Facebook post, I would "like" it times 1 million