How do you politely explain over the phone to your mother that a bull's *ahem* thing is in grave danger, that it looks like, um, something crawled inside of it and turned the whole thing inside out and now what resembles two baseballs are dangling off the end of it?
And that earlier in the day you noticed it was enlarged but you thought he was just, you know, pleasuring himself?
Oh, and after you made the discovery with your little brother who was almost puking, you crept around bent over, looking at all the other bull's, uh, ding-a-lings, to see if anyone else was having....problems.
And then, you took a picture?
How do you politely explain that?