Will

Will is a new dog to our family and he loves us. He also loves water and running away. Inadvertently, he taught me a lesson this morning.

I took him out with me (and the four other dogs) this morning on a beautiful Texas morning with no humidity. I know his love of water and I also know that his fat ass can't make it under the fences. So I opened the gates to the pasture for him and tried my darndest to get him to go through.

He didn't get it.

He just looked at me with those big brown eyes and trotted off. And kept trotting. And trotting.

Will is not content to stay in the fenced-in acreage we have. If there's a hole in the fence, he will find it. Never mind the fact that a 1,000 gallon (that's a total guess!) water trough is waiting for him or that I'm trying to get him into it because I know he'll love it. He doesn't pay attention to the four dogs who want to play with him or the fact that I'm calling his name.

Regardless of the lifestyle he has at our house, he wants on the other side of the fence.

I managed to call him back about 15 minutes later and he followed me around for about two seconds. Then he trotted off again through a familiar-to-him hole and away he went.

I finished what I was doing and came inside. About a half-hour later, I saw his lazy self on the front porch. I went outside and caught him putting his two front massive legs into the tub of water we have on the porch for the dogs.

He completely missed the point that I'd been trying to coax him into the 1,000 gallon water trough that I know he loves. Instead, he was willing to settle for sticking his front legs in a dirty tub.

If only he'd listened to me.

If only I'd listen to my Master. How many times has he tried to coax me into something he knows I love and want but I'm convinced my own way is better? I'd rather settle for a fraction of the blessing he had in store for me if I'd just followed. I'd rather find a hole in the freaking fence then stay in the acreage of his luxury.

I don't think my animals will ever stop teaching me.

hcg

I guess it's time to talk about this crazy diet I'm on. You know, now that I'm seeing results and it's actually working. Heaven only knows how many times I've blogged about a diet only to have it taper off thanks to it, uh, not working.

My weight fluctuation has a lot to do with my Lyme Disease I play host to and that's created frustrating weight gain and unexplained losses. I know in my head that satisfying my craving of a fountain Pepsi is only feeding the bacteria in my blood but that knowledge never stopped me from making a pit stop at a gas station. I also knew I should stop eating fast food but again, who has time to pack a lunch every day?

Well, here we are. Three-and-a-half weeks after I quit soda altogether and two weeks and one day since I've had a smidgen of sugar, starch or anything not home cooked. And yes, I'm bringing my lunch to work every day and sometimes dinner.

I'm feeding myself on a strict schedule much like you would a newborn and it's working.

The diet is the HCG diet, which is a hormone. Yes, I'm infusing my body with a hormone three times a day. But don't worry. It only lasts for 43 days (or 34 pounds lost) before I go on a 6-week maintenance period.

With the HCG, I'm also on a 500-calorie a day (yes, I said a day) diet. And yes, it's enough because the HCG is liquifying fat cells in my body so I'm actually metabolizing 1500 to 2000 calories daily.

And the diet's not that bad. For lunch and dinner I have 3.5 ounces of an approved meat, one vegetable, one fruit, one melba toast and as much iced tea sweetened with Stevia and water as I want. I can even drink coffee, although I've had to modify the style. What used to be a sugary/creamy cup of warm fluid is now iced black coffee with English Toffee flavored Stevia and one tablespoon of milk. It's heaven.

I've learned so many things about myself during this process. Like, the food I put in my body really does serve a purpose. I've wasted a lot of calories by feeding myself unnecessary food. I eat when I'm stressed A LOT because, man, a cheeseburger sounds soooo goooood sometimes but when I think about it, it's because I'm stressed. That's another thing - I'm thinking about it. I'm not just eating to fill time or because I'm bored, stressed, watching a movie, driving, or socializing. I'm eating for energy (clean energy) and health.

That doesn't mean I won't enjoy a cheeseburger during my maintenance period when I'm allowed to eat starches and sugar in moderation.

But for now, on week 3 of 6, I'm happy, not hungry (finally!), I feel good about purifying my body and I'm looking forward to the end of this journey.

And, oh yeah. I've lost 16 pounds.

forgetful

Sometimes I forget things.

Locking the door when I'm the last one to leave the office is on the list of Things I Forget I've Done or Not.

So after last week's episode of nearly driving the 50-miles one way back to the office to see if I had indeed locked the door, which I swore I did but still doubted and even called the police to have them go check for me (it was locked!), I took my brother's advice and now photograph my locking-in-action.

The proof is in the picture

back-to-school shopping!!

Today we back-to-school-shopped and we had a blast. And I, despite my disdain for malls and shopping in general had a genuinely great time with my family. I think it's because I loved seeing my little brother and sister so excited and so appreciative of our day. It was great.

I even had the pleasure of forcing my mother into a Victoria's Secret fitting room and buying her first VS bra! She's converted forever. She won't ever go back to JCPenny bras. I promise you.

Evalyn was treated like royalty (of course) and even got to ride the escalator down and then back up. I was too chicken to put her on it so I handed over the stroller driving to Daniel and he and Micah managed it just fine.

She even took a nap in the mall. What a trooper.

When we got in the truck to leave, Daniel said:

"Well, the two things I needed for this to be a great day happened. Evalyn was in a great mood and Holly wasn't a bitch....not one time did she ask 'are we almost done?', 'is it time to leave yet?'"

And he's right.

I didn't ask one time.

car issues

This was my car one year, six months and fifteen days ago.

This was my car .... today

Uh-huh.
Towed from the driveway.
How lame is that.
At least one year, six months and fifteen days ago we broke down on a desert highway outside of Deming, New Mexico with five dogs in the car who yes, did ride on the tow truck too.
(makes for a muuuccchhhh cooler story)
Today?
In front of the garage.
Who has to have their car towed from the front of their garage?
Me.
Because my car hates me.
I abuse all vehicles.
And then write about it.
And when mechanics make me cry, I write about that too.

But today I don't have anything awesome to write about.
Other then to say that my car wouldn't start this morning.
I got a free tow (thanks USAA!)
End of story.

I love this place

Today I was inspired.

You see, I'm an editor again and with editor-ship comes intense required creativity. Since I've been out of it for over a year, it's taken me a couple weeks to get back in the groove. But I'm back in it thanks to some sunshine, not writing, and spending time with my dog today. I have creative energy leftover for this....

....this place that is as comfortable to me as sitting across the table nearly every morning with my mom.

I love this place.

she teaches me more

She teaches me more than I teach her.

My attempts to teach her are really my efforts to control her - to ingrain into her intelligent brain that my voice is the one to acknowledge and not her inner instincts. Her instincts tell her to circle the horses into a tight group and then herd them in a direction. The more they rebel, the more she enjoys nipping their noses and heels until they go where she wants them to.

This is a near-daily argument between the two of us. While she's following her natural instincts, she's oblivious to the fact that I've called her to me numerous times and she doesn't know that I exist until she sees me heading her way.

Then she knows.

Even after a year-and-a-half, I have to remind her every day that I'm the alpha of our pack. But when I do, we fall into this harmonious togetherness. When she sacrifices her nature, she falls into step beside me, watching my hands, my body language, the sound of my voice and whistle. She explores a few feet away but only for seconds before nuzzling my hand hanging at my side. We stood like that for a long time at the horse's water trough today. Just...together.

She realizes it's more sweet to be working with me than against me.

And the more she submits to the pecking order of our pack, the more I trust her. I even let her try and herd the horses for the sake of her enjoyment.

All I ask is that when I call, she comes running.

Yesterday she learned a lesson I've been warning her about. My attempts to control her agression toward the horses have been for her own protection but I can't convey that to her.

Dubar, however, can in the form of a mighty back kick that sent her airborne and then running. Running while screaming. She didn't know where she was running to. She ran behind the barn and then around the barn. And then to someone who might know how to help her.

Me.

I checked her over while she cried. She trotted off to the house and I followed her. Once I knew she was okay (except for some bruised ribs, most likely) I took her back out to the horses.

She was terrified. She stood about 50 feet away and watched me go in to shut off their water.

I called her to me.

Just like all good cowboys get back on when they've been bucked off, she needed to overcome this feeling she's never felt before - fear.

She hesitated but then rushed to my side and stayed there while I shut the water off and closed gates. I want her to know that she's bad-ass. I want that tinge of fear (the first she's felt in her life) to turn into a healthy respect.

I want her to know that my voice is worth listening to.

Pledge Maker

I pledged that I would take my lunch to work every day and not drink soda this week.

So far so good. Much better then last Monday, anyway, when I pledged no soda and an hour later was sipping on a fountain Pepsi. The near-traffic accident I was involved in helped me to justify my need for the sparkly beverage.

My decisions have nothing to do with wanting to be uber-healthy or uber-frugal. I just want to be healthier and frugalier then what I have been.