Monday, October 24, 2011

intentional soul

A guy asked me the other day: with your busy schedule, how do you see yourself making time for someone else?

It’s been two days and I haven’t responded.

The truth is that I don’t have a reason to make time for someone else. Perhaps most importantly, I don’t want to right now.

I am still learning how to walk my own journey.

While my peers were training themselves for marriage and Bible school, I was building brick walls around my heart and setting out with steely defense to take care of myself.

I’ll be damned if I ever depend on him…whoever him was.

So I pursued my calling and through the course of this incredible life, the bricks and the mortar holding them together have been knocked off and I’ve learned how to live me.

In my newsroom, I tell our reporters often, “We are producing newspapers that are not an accident; we are practicing intentional journalism.”

That is how my life is supposed to be lived - intentionally. On purpose.

I’m not single because it’s what happened to me, or it’s how I was predestined to exact an existence on earth.

I happened to it.

The answer to the question would be that I haven’t met the person who I’ve wanted to sacrifice something else in my life for. And if I have, I’ve been too chicken to admit it.

Time is a currency and I don’t want to gamble with it when the risk of losing is too high.

But sometimes the risk is worth the beautiful gamble.

Those moments {small, great, powerful moments} when the story, the journey, the joy, makes it worth the risk…when I’m ready, when the stars and the moon and the sun align and I choose you.