how I would handle sticky teen situations

I was taking a bath tonight to shave my legs. If, in some twist of fate, my pants have to be ripped off in an emergency during oral surgery tomorrow, I would like for my legs to be clean-shaven.

So I was shaving and reading a woman's magazine. A section called for answers to handling "tricky teen situations", which somehow when I first read that, my mind saw "sticky." Anyway. As I was reading the questions, I had my own answers (I have an opinion about everything) and thought I'd share.

"My 13-year-old wants a Facebook acount. But I don't think he's old enough."
Then, no. If you don't think the kid is old enough, he's not. Go with your gut. He's also probably not old enough to drive a car or shave.

"My 14-year-old daughter wants to start dating. Is that too young?"
Hell, yes. Until you're old enough for a date to occur in a location other than the school cafeteria, you're too young. It's a negative. She'll get over it.

"My son posted a video of himself on YouTube. Should I worry?"
Depends on what 'himself' consists of. Flexing his muscles in the mirror? Not so much worry. A Weineresque photo/video? Yeah, I'd worry. And then I'd take it down and beat his ass.

"I found a sext message on my teen's cell phone. What should I do?"
Strip them of any electronic priveleges including but not limited to, cell phones, pagers, beepers, television remote, garage door opener...and then send them to a towerless undisclosed location. Yes. I'm telling you to overreact.