the perils of oral surgery aren't that perilous

I guess I’ve always had a flare for the dramatic, but when I say I could die Wednesday, it’s not a joke.

One out of 350,000 patients sedated for dentistry die each year.

And aside from that terrifying number, there are really no other statistics to raise concern.

Boring.

I’m approaching Wednesday as if I’m taking an overseas five-day hiatus. That’s how excited I am to have five teeth removed and spend five days alternating between the couch and bed with my gauze-stuffed mouth.

Don’t be misled.

I know there will be pain involved. But where there is pain, there are good drugs and where there are good drugs there is surely sleep.

And so, while there are bound to be elements of cry-babiness going on, because I’m dramatic like that sometimes, I’m relishing in the thought of the moments after the pain and good drugs and sleep.

You know, when my teeth won’t break off on soggy Wheat Thins.