the diet again

Nearly a year ago I started a diet. A crazy, extreme, seemingly impossible diet, and now, 50 pounds (LOST!) later, I'm doing it again.

I started yesterday and I'm impacted again, but in a different way, about how much of my life revolves around food.

To be fair to myself, my eating habits have changed a considerable amount in the past year. (yes! it's been a year since I started this. crazy!) But back then, I thought it was impossible to pack my lunches and dinners to work, or to go without a fountain Pepsi or to avoid fast food. Or, really, to exist without the fibers of food holding the fabric of my life together.

Sounds dramatic, but it's really not.

I realized a year ago how much of who I was revolved around where I ate, what I ate, and when I ate it. Happy, sad, celebratory, bored, angry, stressed....there was no occasion not suitable for food.

In the 365 days since starting this journey, I've learned that my Sunday nights will probably forever be spent cooking till the wee hours of the morning (I've yet to perfect the time management aspect of this) preparing my food (ten meals, to be exact) to be packed in Tupperware containers and carried with me to work for the upcoming week. I don't use plastic bags anymore, because I discovered it's wasteful. I'd rather put my cut up apple in a reusable container then throw away 5 Ziplocs in a week.

It's been almost a year since I've drank a regular soda. If I'm desperate, I'll drink a diet soda, but I regulate their consumption.

I know that sugar is a diet trap for me so I avoid it all costs. I also know that once I get started, I can't stop so the best thing to do is to avoid that cookie or ice cream or candy.

I monitor my calorie intake and try to exercise when I physically can.

As a result, I've gone four months without fluctuating too far from the number on the scale I obtained in March. At one point, I showed a six pound gain and sank into a momentary depression. My worst fear is gaining it all back. But I steadied myself on the straight and narrow and within ten days, had lost the six pounds again reinforcing to myself that I can do this.

I have a goal weight that I want to achieve by my birthday in September so I decided to embark on what I consider to be the last leg of my HCG journey. My goal is to lose at least 20 pounds in the next 43 days.

It's kinda nice to hear people say, "Please don't get too skinny," or "Are you sure you need to lose more?", but I need to lose this for myself.

So yesterday marked the beginning of the next 43 days.

I'll keep you posted. :)