retreating

My reaction when I feel like this is to retreat...from here, from being present, from rest.

Why is it that when I feel like this, I can't slow down? I'm exhausted to the point of tears yet I can only sit still on the couch for "rest time" of a whole of 9.5 minutes and 9.5 minutes isn't even a whole.

This week was taxing. Yesterday was supposed to be a slow day but this story consumed my afternoon and a bit of my heart too, and temper. One day I'll be able to tell the 'story behind the stories'. But not today.

Last night I read a work-related e-mail after midnight, and spent the next 45 minutes in bed arguing my rebuttal and my point in my mind. I should've been trying to get the 5 hours of sleep I was going to get but instead I was writing an imaginary e-mail.

I need rest in my soul, especially when I'm feeling like this.